Why Must Dogs Eat Everything?

Okay, I have a blog for cute cat pictures, a blog for my Siamese cats, a blog about green cleaning, my author's blog, and of course, Fred's Evil Plan to Take Over the World. It's too much to keep track of which has resulted in my not posting, so I've decided to compile all of my random thoughts and remarks about my interests in one spot.

Why cool beans and cats? Well, cool beans is one of my favorite expressions and I love cats so ...

As for Fred's Evil Plan, sadly after a year of problems, he has now been diagnosed with diabetes. I confess to feeling like I'd be jinxing his delicate health to post in his blog right now.

I've been busy taking care of Fred and Daphne, the epileptic dog who, by the way, managed to get hold of a bunch of velcro wire tires last night and proceeded to chew, mangle and eat them. After frantic calls to the Emergency vet (why does this stuff always happen on the weekends), we gave her hydrogen peroxide so she'd throw up - which she did. Her dinner ... her snack ... some grass ... but no velcro! It now seems that she probably only chewed them into the unrecognizable remains we found. Nonetheless, we sat outside with the dog-slobbered remains trying to reconstruct the original strips to at least get a count.

But that brings me to the question of the day. Why must dogs eat EVERYTHING? I mean, really. Velcro? Maybe it's the taste - no, I don't think that velcro could taste good, even to a dog. Perhaps it was the wonderful feel of the little velcro hooks on her tongue? Nah, I can't see that texture being pleasing to any living being with working nerves and taste buds. So velcro joins a long list of chewed up household items: 3 telephones, the plug and cord for my curio cabinet, the slats from the Futon, the frame of my bay window, the coffee table legs and the sofa cushions.

In an attempt to further understand this issue, I have taken a canine poll. Now admittedly, my sample size is very small, having limited myself to polling dogs of my acquaintance (both of necessity due to availability and of a fear of asking strange dogs silly questions about their consumption habits), but the uniformity of the responses leads me to believe that the margin of error in this poll is so small as to be insignificant.

Human Reasons to Eat Something:

• Hunger
• It tastes good
• Stress
• Nutrition
• On a dare

If you exclude the ludicrous (and quite possibly testosterone-driven) response of 'on a dare', you'll note that the human responses were either indicative of very sound reasoning, e.g. hunger and nutrition, for enjoyment, or due to some other psychological factor.

Now for the dogs:

• Because it was there
• It fell on the floor, I'm supposed to eat everything on the floor
• It was there
• It was in my way
• It was there

You'll notice a recurrent theme in the dog responses, all of which more or less say the same thing.

After completing the survey, it became apparent to me that the problem wasn't with y dogs, it was with me. I shouldn't expect human logic from a canine. This new revelation should keep me satisfied for a day or two, at which time I will most certainly go back to attempting to apply human reasoning to canine behavior. You cannot teach an old human new tricks.